paperboy

Each morning I emerge from the sanctuary of my crib. Steadily, stealthily, I set out on the odyssey that is mine and mine alone. My mission: to seek out fallen bits of paper wherever they may hide. With utter disregard for my own safety, I will probe the depths of every trashcan. Slash through neatly stacked piles of magazines. And release each precious square of toilet paper from its cursed cylindrical confines. No, I shall not rest until every scrap of paper in this house is tucked safely into the roof of my mouth. I am...Paperboy.

Tune in next time for the saga of my fellow vigilante and intrepid partner: The Flusher.